Home > motherhood, my bod > “… like I ache.”

“… like I ache.”

No one — except Courtney Love, and who listens to her — warned me that motherhood was about pain.

I mean, I knew about the emotional trauma. The sleep deprivation. Clearly I knew about labor and delivery. I was prepared for heartbreak, disappointment, the whole teenage thing. But no one told me about the physical pain.

The Child will sometimes slam her head back and split my lip. She will thrash in her sleep and kick me in the breast. (Nailed The Husband in the nuts two nights ago.) When she’s annoyed that I won’t let her nurse 24/7, she pinches my nipple. HARD. Sometimes when she’s nursing, she’ll hear a noise and whip her head around — without having let go of the nipple. She likes to ‘help’ me sweep and used to clock me across the face with the broomstick. Then I bought her a child-sized broom and now she cracks me across the shins.


And then this morning, she found our metal living room garbage can. (Metal because she broke the plastic one and The Cat shredded the rattan one.) It was empty so I let her toddle around pushing it in front of her like a 16-mo.-old octogenarian with a walker. It kept her quiet while I did my housework.

And then she found a slippery spot on the hardwood floor. The garbage can slipped forward, mashed into my toes, ripped a toenail off, (gouged a narsty slash in the hardwood floor), and she bonked her head on the edge. So, with screaming pain in my foot, blood gushing everywhere, I had to ignore my own pain, scoop up The Child and soothe her. It’s part of motherhood, I get that.

But OW!

Categories: motherhood, my bod
  1. karriew
    May 11, 2007 at 4:37 pm

    I now have more bruises from M, than from bumping into things. Which is saying a lot.

    The other morning he woke me up by kicking me and yelling “POW!POW!” Niiiiiiice.

  2. May 11, 2007 at 7:07 pm

    I have learned to jump out of the way. I look like a fool sometimes, because I think the kids are going to do something and they dont. I dont care, it is better to be perceived as a fool than to be bleeding in pain.

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