Home > Uncategorized > Not at all about mother’s day

Not at all about mother’s day

As a mom writing a momblog, I feel that today’s post should be about my Mother’s Day. Rather as I feel I should never swar in front of The Child. And yet….

So instead of being boring and writing aobut how my mom is pressuring me to “stop spoiling the baby” by nursing on demand, or anything like that, I’m going to tell a story about when I visited The Local Bookstore last week.

The Child was in her rambunctious mood — is there any other for a 16-mo.-old? — and tearing around the children’s section at the bookstore. She’s very respectful of books, regardless of her mood, so I sat as she ran out, grabbed a book according to some internal whim and then deposited it on my lap. Often I’d make a comment on her choices.

Present was one other child — a boy named Iggy who I would guess to be four-ish and who referred to himself in the third person a lot. He was with a woman who may have been his mother or his nanny. Around here, you’re never sure. Anyway, he was a nice kid and the adult was simply lovely and v. patient with The Child. (The Child’s internal whims dictated that the dolphin books right behind Iggy and his caretaker needed to be moved to the table. NOW.)

At one point, the book that The Child handed me was a “Starter Reader” introduction to SpiderMan. “Oooh,” says geek-mom I. “SpiderMan!”

Iggy turns and with the authority and assurance that only a toddler can muster declares, “SpiderMan is a naughty bad boy!” Oh dear, thought I. Then Iggy continued. “He fights.”

I cannot accurately convey the venom and convinction that he put into that word. “Fights.” It was a little scary, frankly.

His caretaker tried to mitigate his absolute world view a little bit, “Well, he’s not always a bad boy.”

Yes he is! He fights. SpiderMan is a naughty boy,” howled Iggy and then he sort of descended into muttering about “Iggy isn’t a bad boy he doesn’t fight” or something.

Now, I know that I’m in the most “opinionated zip-code in the world” and that Cambridge is a bastion of extreme and extraordinary liberal bent.  I suspect from various cues that were so subtle that I can’t even enunciate them that this child was probably the son of a pair of Harvard profs. I even get that we’re in the middle of a pointless, dragging, badly managed war and that people’s pacifist natures are being brought to the fore. I even get that under the onslaught of the Summer Blockbuster Media Borg you might be sick of your son coming home from pre-school pretending to be SpiderMan and shooting people with webs.

But this reaction struck me as strange and unbalanced. I’m not exactly sure why. I’m going to think on it for a while and see if I can’t come to any conclusions. The word “Beowulf” keeps coming to mind.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. karriew
    May 14, 2007 at 12:53 pm

    Happy belated Mother’s Day!

    I hope Iggy never meets Max. 😉

  2. May 14, 2007 at 4:26 pm

    I have given this some thought. I always told my daughter to tell a teacher or stand firm to an offending child and tell them to Stop. However, I had an incident at my daughter’s school that made me turn to her and say, “If any child pushes you or hits you, you hit them back and then tell the teacher.” I added that if any teacher had a problem with this, she was to tell them to call her Momma.

    I felt very guilty about saying that to her and really I dont want her to be a bully, but more importantly I dont want her to be bullied. I have been on that side and it is scary. I am considering karate lessons for her mainly for confidence, but I need to find a school that calls back. She does tend to melt into a puddle of tears for even the slightest problem.

    What was so wrong with the incident was that I saw no one talk to the offending girl. The kids were on the stage and everyone could see the push that sent my daughter flying forward. The girl’s mother did nothing and the teachers did nothing. Nothing was done after I called and asked if anything was done. My fear is that my child will rely on teachers that are busy with other things. I, also, hope that she returns fire and it will show the other kids not to mess with her.

    I know it is not the best way to do things, but I dont know any other way. I was told to ignore the bullies and tell an adult. Needless to say I was in for an asskicking and running home from school on a daily basis. Kids are on a basic level. I feel this is one part of a lesson that will be ongoing for my daughter. As she grows, I hope to teach her other ways to outsmart people. For now, as the smallest 4 yr old in her school, she needs to protect herself.

    Sorry so long and it may not even have anything to do with the story. Just thought I would throw it out there.

  1. May 26, 2007 at 5:51 pm

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