Home > Christmas, City mama, grandmothers > Chucking it all in

Chucking it all in

Don’t you ever just want to chuck it all in?

Sell the house, the car, all the crap, and go buy a little place in the country. Passive solar, with a windmill for electricity and a woodburning stove. Teach The Child from books and never have to deal with the world?

Never have to deal with nine year olds who want liposuction because they think they are fat. Never deal with nine year olds who are fat, thanks to a steady diet of Coke, Fruit Loops, and Lunchables. Never deal with those nine-year-0ld’s moms who say “lighten up,” when you don’t let your kids eat the crap cookies at the Coop bookstore. Never deal with not saying “lighten up” to playground moms who freak out and run away from you if you say “no” or “time out” to your kid. Never deal with trying to schedule seven different family units in one weekend for Christmas and then, the same people, the next weekend for The Child’s birthday.

Never ahve to deal with a society that drowns my daughter in wanton sex at the same time as condemning a naked female figure as more awful to show on TV than a naked gun. Never have to deal with the old man on the corner who calls my daughter “princess”. Never have to deal with the drunk guy drinking from his brown paper bagged bottle who banged on the window at Starbucks to make an obscene gesture at me while I was drinking my cocoa with my daughter this morning.

Never have to try to smile and be gracious when your mom buys The Child the single most hideous jacket in the universe. (I’m not kidding. It’s…. indescribably ugly. Wait, let me see if I can find a photo online…. here…. click to revel in it’s awfulness.) Never panic contemplating the expense of preschools. Never see that the kindergarten that’s most recommended is $33k a year! Never worry about any of that crap. Never try to explain to your in laws that the 30 year old toy is probably not safe for The Child.

Never have to listen again to “well, we all went through it, kiddo” when you mention that you’re tired because The Child’s not sleeping. Never listen to complaints about not having enough time with The Child, and isn’t it too bad you all live so far away, when you’ve twisted yourself into knots trying to get them the most time possible.

It’s pure fantasy, I know. There are just as many problems living the “simple life” as there are in the city. But opting out seems nice, sometimes. A cabin in the woods. Some chickens and goats, maybe rabbits. A well and a garden and miles of woods without anyone to talk to.

Or is it just me?

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  1. Juliet Bravo
    November 27, 2007 at 1:42 pm

    Wow that’s one _ugly_ jacket. I might run away into the woods if I had to wear it 🙂 In some ways, I would love a pastoral, isolated life, but in other ways it would drive me totally insane 🙂

  2. Amy
    November 28, 2007 at 11:06 am

    Nope. Not just you. Love the jacket, btw!

  3. November 28, 2007 at 6:34 pm

    I don’t know, that jacket is kind of retro 😛

    Yeah, I was seriously considering becoming Amish, but I just can’t wear the clothes 😀

  4. November 28, 2007 at 9:49 pm

    Wow, I can’t believe that the first time I find your fantastic blog, I read this post. I have been losing sleep at night going over this very same dilemma. I’m not going to quite chuck it all, but I so want to move to a more natural place, and I’m having serious educational quandaries already–kindergarten being T minus 2 years away.

    Alright, here I go to read as many of your posts as I can before anyone needs to throw up on me. (Sick 2 year old in the house).

    So glad to have found you.

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