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Taking a walk

Motherhood, parenthood, they tell you, will change your life in ways you can’t imagine.

I can’t take evening walks anymore.

The Husband and I used to get these urges to go for a walk in the evening. He would look at me after dinner and say, with a goofy smile, “Let’s go for a walk!” And we would. Sometimes on nice summery nights when the whole square was hopping and popping with people. On those first not-bitter nights in late winter, when spring is finally getting a toehold. On crisp autumn nights, when you can smell frost coming. Even on whippingly cold winter nights, to look at lights and get a cup of hot cocoa.  It was a lovely way to decompress, see the city, just talk. We’d meet people, look at houses, discover new parts of the city, browse bookstores, dissect the day’s events, plan trips, whatever.

For while, when she was still very young,  we would pop The Child in the Bjorn and take her along with us. In those days, we took a walk every night, rain or shine, as part of our evening ritual. Hell, it was the only time we had together to just talk back then.

Those walks were some of my favorite times as a married couple, both before and after baby.

Now, we can’t do them any more.

The draconian bed time ritual has worked wonders. We get sleep! We sleep through the night! It’s amazing and wonderful and was vitally important to our lives. But it’s really impinged on something I valued a lot.

I mean, if I wanted to, I could arrange ahead of time for babysitting. Or call the BFF to come over, if she didn’t have homework or finals or whatever. But one of the best aspects of the walks was the spontaneity of it.

I want to go for a walk. And I can’t.

Categories: City mama
  1. aguane
    March 18, 2008 at 11:27 pm

    omg I misssssss missssss those evening walks. My son is 5 and now he’s old enough to go on walks with us but it’s just not the same as it was back in those days of spontaneous walks around the neighborhood, finding stray cats, looking for new places to stumble upon.

    The removal of easy to do evening walks is definitely something they don’t tell you when you get pregnant.

  2. C'tina
    March 20, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    *Snort* ‘draconian bedtime ritual’…seriously…I just got back from a jog/bike/jog with my two boys…it comes full circle, in so many ways–you know….

  3. March 21, 2008 at 3:42 am

    go earlier before the bedtime ritual. It’s a great habit to teach your child – exercise and family together time.

  4. marsupial jones
    March 22, 2008 at 5:34 pm

    i hear ya. i had such a hard time after bebe was born because so many of these things had to fall away. here’s what i tell myself: “someday, he will be 12 or 14 and will want nothing to do with us or at least won’t need us to entertain him at all moments.” and i think that time will come sooner than we think, faster than we think. not to be all mushy “appreciate the time you have with your kid and family-ness.” i miss the partner time a lot too. i’m really looking forward to being old with my husband though. it’s enough that it’s making me really consider NOT having a second child. i love your blog. it’s one of my favorites. thanks for your honesty and beautiful writing.

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