Home > motherhood > My breasts are gonna POP

My breasts are gonna POP

I think I’m weaning The Child.

If you’d asked me even a few month ago, I would have said, Yes, I’m ready, it won’t be a problem, I want to be able to take expectorants and eat high-mercury seafood and all those things. And in many many ways I’m ready.

But there’s a twinge of regret there, too. Unexpectedly.

We just got back from our 36 hours of adulthood and we had a lovely time– we even had nookie! Our goal was to just let this break lead naturally into weaning. I’ve worked her down to one and a half nursings a day. (Nap for about 5-7 minutes and at bedtime, for two minutes, maybe, for comfort.) And we just did the bedtime ritual without her even mentioning the word or getting down the Boppy pillows.

Now, my milk never “came in” the way that some people talk about, with engorgement and all that. I’ve got G cups and never felt much discomfort (excepting when she chewed on my nipples), even when I had to skip nursings. And, since we were down to so few nursings, I never figured that this would bug me. But I feel… bloated. Itchy.

Add that to the feeling of … I guess “loss” is a fine word, and I’m a little scratchy tonight. We’re pretty firm on the idea that we don’t want another child, so Friday night was the last time I will ever nurse someone. And I didn’t even really notice. I didn’t say, “This is it.” It’s bittersweet, really. And that surprises me.

She’s two and half, almost. It’s time. But it’s still just a little sad.

And bloated.

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Categories: motherhood
  1. aguane
    May 26, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    I still remember when I weaned my son. It gets easier except when you see someone else nursing and their child makes all those little noises and then you go “oh yes, I remember …” and feel a little bit of the loss again.

    You’re in my thoughts.

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