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The weight thing

I’m dieting.

I’ve never really actually dieted before. I’ve exercised, I’ve declared I’m going to lose weight, I’ve decided to add more vegetables, more whole grains, whatnot, but never actually dieted. I don’t know HOW.

So what I’m doing is actually very like what I did when I was pregnant. I gained all of 14 pounds during pregnancy and 10 of those were The Child. I actually came out a little thinner than I went in. Because I had gestational diabetes and couldn’t’ eat any simple carbs. So that’s what I’m doing — losing the simple carbs.

Turns out that I’m essentially doing The South Beach Diet, which I didn’t know until recently. I think of it as the G.D. diet. And, to be honest, it’s the way we should be eating all the time anyway — fruits, veggies, whole grains, legumes, leans meats. I know lots of nutrition — can’t avoid it when you’re a foodie. I’m making sure I’m getting balanced nutrition — at first I was going to ditch all carbs for a while but decided that wasn’t healthy or sane or likely to get me through a day with a toddler. So my breakfast is now a bowl of whole grains that I cook into a porridge and mix with (unsweetened) peanut butter. It’s actually not bad.

I admit that I add about 1/16 t. of honey, too. Makes all the difference.

And, what’s good is… I’m not really hungry ever. I know that other dieters talk about being hungry but I don’t get hungry. I get a little tired, but my stomach never growls.

What I do get is CRAVINGS. I NEED sugar. It’s like a low-level (or high-level) itch that I can’t scratch. I find myself wandering into the kitchen for a glass of water and sort of come to with my hand in the chocolate bag. I’ve had to get rid of all forms of sweets that are easy to get at — all I have left is sugar and honey. And I figure if I’m bad off enough to eat sugar straight from the bag then I deserve the fucking carbs.

I’ve ditched my morning chai at ‘Bucks for a venti iced tea. It’s not the same.

Every once in a while I waver and then I remember what set this all off. I got a call from my insurance company offering me assistance with my diabetes. Now, they do this all the time — once every three months ever since I had G.D. But I’d just had a physical and I was worried that the blood tests had come up with me as diabetic and the insurance company found out before I did.

So I’m losing weight to avoid diabetes. That’s also why I picked the no-simple-carbs route — not only is it how you should be eating, it’s a good way to prevent pre-diabetic situations.

Of course, I’m me and I can’t give it up all together. So I’ve promised myself that every once in a while I’ll get an afternoon and go down to Burdicks and get a cup of ice chocolate there and a croissant. Definitely not on the approved list, but I don’t think I can do this with two or three years of nothing on the horizon. I know other women promise themselves Coco Chanel suits or trips to spas or diamond jewelry to get to their proper weight.

I just want chocolate, damnit. Maybe some cake.

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Categories: my bod, weight
  1. C'tina
    July 21, 2008 at 2:02 am

    A good sweet treat is figs. Dried figs travel well. I keep a bag in my car, along with my almonds. I roast 2-3 sweet potatoes at a time and keep them in the fridge..when I need to eat something fast and healthy I peel one and eat it cold..strange but healthy..warm a sprinkle of cinnamon makes a nice treat

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