Home > City mama > I am a bad ass…. well, no, not anymore

I am a bad ass…. well, no, not anymore

Driving home from picking up the CSA today, a UPS truck cut me off by pulling out in front of me suddenly. I was traffic-cranky and hot and when he pulled out I sighed heartily. When he stopped  for no apparent reason, I honked. A short, polite honk, not a long drawn out rude honk. Just one of those little honks to let him know that there was someone there. If he hadn’t seen me, that would explain why he pulled out in front of me, and I didn’t want him stopping to consult the GPS when there was traffic behind him.

He immediatly pulled over, leaned out of his truck, and shouted obscenities at me. I was sufficiently tired that I just rolled my eyes. I didn’t yell back, flip him off, or even stick my tongue out.

Then he pulled out behind me. 

I turned left. He turned left.

I turned right, down a tiny little residential one-way street. He turned right down the same street.

I pulled into the driveway where I rent a garage. I did the necessary rigamarole (open door, drive car in, take out CSA, close trunk, close door, etc.) and then stood in the driveway for a minute. The UPS guy hadn’t driven by yet. 

I wanted to go down the drive way and look for him. I wanted to take a picture of his liscence plate and call UPS and lodge a complaint. I wanted to go get up in this guy’s face — he cut me off! I wanted to let this pissant punk know that following women home is an unacceptable way to behave. Clearly this guy was trying to intimidate me and I really wanted to show him I wasn’t intimidated.

But I could hear The Child singing with The Husband through her open bedroom window. And I stood there in the driveway, debating with myself. Finally, after about five seconds, I made the adult decision to not confront a clearly unbalanced man. I like to think of myself as a bad ass stand up gal, but I’m also over weight and had my hands full of vegetables. This guy was bigger, unreasonably angry about nothing in particular, and possibly still in his truck, which is a fine weapon. 

So I made the smart (if not-at-all-bad-ass) decision. And just before I turned to go…

The UPS truck crept into view at the foot of my driveway, the driver leaning over to peer out his window. The truck rolled to a stop and the driver stood up, as if to get a better view or to get out. He saw me. He knew me.

I thought for a long second. My garage is a communal garage, attached to three houses and not even remotely attached to mine. Even with the location of the garage, he couldn’t find where I lived. Two of my male neighbors were out on their stoops, between this guy and me. I was steps away from a firehouse where the firemen know me. 

So I snorted, flipped my hair over my shoulder, and sauntered away, turning my back on him like the harmless cur he was, derision and scorn in every line of my body.

(It would have been a really great exit if I hadn’t had a box of sweet corn and squash on my hip.)

Categories: City mama
  1. September 9, 2008 at 10:19 pm

    No WAY! What a scary creep! And, yes, you are totally a bad-ass, toting sweet corn or not.

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