Home > Uncategorized > Snug and warm inside…. with guilt

Snug and warm inside…. with guilt

When I was a working schlub, I was a batter person. Back when I lived in Conn., I did four hours a week at Yale-New Haven’s Children’s Hospital, keeping the kids company, reading to them, hanging out in general. It was sometimes fun, sometimes dull, sometimes frustrating (red tape), and sometimes incredibly brutal.

I never quite got my shit together after moving to Boston, but I had disposable income and donated to good groups. Then, for a while, I worked with someone tapped into the community and she would send out emails about emergency shelters when the nights got really awfully cold. I remember one week the wind chill was estimated to be about 40 below and the homeless were in serious danger. So I made a giant pot of creamy potato soup with chives and bacon and a hug pan of killer mac and cheese and another pot of oatmeal with nuts and dried fruit and extra heavy cream. I put as much fat and calories as I could pack into those meals because the shelters were only open from 5 pm until 9 am and the homeless had to spend the days outside.

We’re in the middle of another cold snap right now — it was 9 degrees when I woke up at 9 am. And I really want to do something. Bake. Cook. Run a load of laundry (they always need someone to do laundry at these things).

But it’s made more complicated by having a three-year-old along. My schedule is built around her (theoretical nap schedule and her preschool and getting food on the table for us. Yes, if I were more organized, I’d be able to get it all done. I’m not organized. I’ve made peace with that.

But when I walk past the guy huddled on the corner, sucking on a mug of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee to keep warm and I know that I’m numb, even in my $50/pair merino wool long johns and angora socks, I feel bad. I feel like I should do something.

I’m just trying to figure out what?

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